Sunday, October 31, 2010

Memories & Memoirs - Confessions of a Confused Career Professional

So I always set up this blog for one purpose, to write and pursue my next adventure but forgive me bloggers and followers - I have sinned - its been almost a year since my last posting. My confession: I have always been an entertainment publicity executive for my entire career. Please, I am not a "flack" - hate that! And, I'm not a red carpet tramp. I don't bring my camera with me to get shots with the stars. I'm a behind the scenes professional who likes to be "behind the scenes." In 2009, like for so many professionals, the economic crisis changed everything. I took time for myself and induced myself with creativity. I literally tried to think of every venture under the sun that would incorporate my love for the beach and the ocean and my desire to never commute again with a little PR. I felt a new industriousness that I never felt before. How do I take beach glass from my walks along the tidepools and turn it into an empire, or how do I take my god awful 60's bath vanity and update it with a Home Depot -new decorator flair at minimal cost? And how do I make a satisfying living in this lousy economy? I taught myself how to make jewelry and threw myself into giving our vanity a very beachy/spa makeover. But, where is the empire? Well it took many months of devotion and dedication to these hobbies and I realized I just needed TIME OFF to be able to ponder these big questions, adjust to the shock of not running on the treadmill of a busy career and then cry over the fact that I spent so many years devoted to my career that I should have spent toward having a child. I needed to get off the 24 hour news cyle of craziness. I determined after some much needed time off, that I was still interested in translating my media and PR experience and credentials into consulting and freelancing for now, but I wanted to do it on my terms from my home office. A six week job turned into eight months and that has just ended, so once again I'm back on the question of what's next? I'll just find another gig, no worries. Yet, I still feel there is something else I'm not tapping into. Writing- maybe. That screenplay I said I would tackle, maybe I should just get everything off my chest in a book? I have people I'd like to share my stories with, but I am shy. I'm not a braggert, I don't like upsetting anyone, is a book too public? My book editor/instructor reminded me that sometimes its good to write the truth, after all, it's stranger than fiction. That's for sure. But I realize if someone is going to speak up, it may as well be me. What do I have to lose? If I get published and readers read it then I guess I should be so lucky to worry about the reaction then. For now its just another adventure... a new pair of earrings I made, or a new look for my vanity. I'm still wondering if its too late for my empire to include kids.